Friday, March 18, 2016

Baby Saetern

Yep, that's baby Saetern.  Well, when baby was 12 weeks old.  Baby is about 16 weeks old at this moment.  Baby is already a cutie, and I'm already losing sleep just staring at the ultrasound pictures.  Hubby and I are grateful, we are excited, and we are completely in love with baby already.  But, it wasn't always like this.

I remember when my twin told me she was pregnant.  And, although I was so happy for her, I was also so sad for myself.  At that time, I had been trying for eight months.  I understand there are others who try for years.  But, at that moment, I was disappointed.  I remember that night, before going to bed, and praying, asking God why I had to still wait.  When would it be my turn?

But, as soon as those words came out of my mouth, I also felt this guilt.  You see, for the first 3 months of trying, I was praying for a baby.  One day, I realized a baby was in God's timing.  So after that day, I began praying for God to comfort my husband and my heart as the months went by, to give us patience for each other (because trying can definitely cause a strain in the marriage), patience for our miracle, and to open our minds to understand that He would give us a baby when we were fully ready.

And at that moment, during my first true trail, I failed.  How could I ask for this miracle, and I still could not trust the Lord's timing?  I repented.  I began to pray even harder for patience and understanding.  I recalled what many of our pastors have preached about; pray for what you want until He grants it to you.  So, we continued praying.  

In December, I was already two weeks late, so I figured I should try the pregnancy test.  I got a negative result.  Thinking, and hoping I was ovulating late, I used the ovulation strips, and they kept coming back with an error reading.  A week went by, and the ovulation strips still read "error".  Yes, I was frustrated and cursed the ovulation test strips for being cheap (bought a whole bunch off Amazon).  I shared my frustration with my twin, and she (always knowing what to say), suggested I take another pregnancy test.  And, here it was ... the moment I had been praying for.  A positive result!  I texted my hubby the picture of the test (he was at work), and sent the picture to all my sisters as well.  The hubby called right away, and I could hear the smile he had on his face in his voice.  I'm sure he heard mine as well.  It was a beautiful belated Christmas gift.